Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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