watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Boobs speak an international language.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
