the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
