Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize