FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
