yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
