can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
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