He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
4 words: hood of his car
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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