Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I got her a Nickelback box set.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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