I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
