Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Randomize
