You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I am mentally ready for anal.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
