worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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