Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
