dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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