oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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