the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize