Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I have tasted many bathrooms
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
