I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize