Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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