Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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