I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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