I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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