I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize