Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
