Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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