I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
