i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
