I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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