you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
