Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
