I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
