The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
