when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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