On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
