Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You made out with two different species that night
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
