ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
