I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
