About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
