i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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