I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
