I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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