You can't special order awesome
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
