So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize