i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
