the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize