she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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