i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
