JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
