HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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