redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
