he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
i think we sleep fucked last night...
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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