I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
