Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Randomize
