Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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