I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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