I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize