Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
