On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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