This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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