I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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