He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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