I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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