Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
