she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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