I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
