Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
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