Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
