i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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