Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
