I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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