Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
