Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
