I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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