i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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