Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
