its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
