She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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