I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
