so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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