david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
